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The bounty of hilarity published in the past 63 years made our task formidable and our criteria painfully limiting; we excluded many worthy nonfiction and short-story specialists. But we settled on a grouping that felt representative of the abundant varieties and evolving tastes of literary humorists, aware that some bits hit different now and others still slay decades later. Let us know what we snubbed, whose good names we’ve insulted with our criminal omissions. We’ll put your picks in a separate roundup — and in our reading queues. We won’t publish any part of your response without following up with you first.

Persons: hilarity, howls, we’ve, We’ll

☆ Russian soldiers forced to rape each other says report alleging brutal violence on Ukraine frontline
▼ + stars: | 2024-02-25 | by ( Alia Shoaib | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +4 min

download the appSign up to get the inside scoop on today’s biggest stories in markets, tech, and business — delivered daily. The outlet interviewed several Russian soldiers over three months, who described brutal conditions in which troops recruited from Russia's prisons bully and abuse mobilized soldiers while commanders remain stationed safely away from the front. AdvertisementHandcuffed to trees"It's hell here," another Russian soldier said. Verstka also published a video appearing to show an unidentified soldier being tied to a tree. Ukraine has said that Storm Z shows extremely low combat capability, according to a press release translated by Pravada .

Persons: —, Verstka, Misha Maltsev, Semyon Kiskorov, Kiskorov, Maltsev, Kirill Kudryavtsev, Pravada Organizations: Service, Business, Getty, Storm, Main Intelligence, Ministry of Defense Locations: Ukraine, Krynky, Dnipro, Yuzhno, Sakhalinsk, Russia, AFP

LONDON (AP) — An American scientist has sparked a trans-Atlantic tempest in a teapot by offering Britain advice on its favorite hot beverage. Bryn Mawr College chemistry professor Michelle Francl says one of the keys to a perfect cup of tea is a pinch of salt. The tip is included in Francl’s book “Steeped: The Chemistry of Tea,” published Wednesday by the Royal Society of Chemistry. Not since the Boston Tea Party has mixing tea with salt water roiled the Anglo-American relationship so much. On the Chemistry World site, Francl said writing the book had “enhanced my enjoyment of a cup of tea” but noted “there were several disquieting discoveries along the way."

Persons: Michelle Francl, ”, boors, Debrett’s, “, Francl, – Organizations: Bryn Mawr College, Royal Society of Chemistry, Boston Tea Party, Twitter, Embassy Locations: An American, Britain, London, States, U.S

☆ My ex-husband and I got a dog for our daughter during our divorce. It's the best parenting decision I've made.
▼ + stars: | 2023-12-02 | by ( Katie Nave | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +7 min

In the midst of a divorce, I got a divorce dog to help ease the transition for my daughter. Her name is Frankie, and my ex-husband and I split custody of Frankie and our daughter equally. The author and her dog, Frankie. Courtesy of the authorWith the guidance of our mediator, my ex-husband and I created a 50/50 custody plan for both our daughter and our dog. AdvertisementThe author's dog, Frankie.

Persons: Frankie, —, I'd, Amanda Craig, I'm, Craig, Whitney Casares, Casares, howls Organizations: Service Locations: Brooklyn, New York City

☆ Opinion | War in a Time of Informational Chaos
▼ + stars: | 2023-10-20 | by ( Michelle Goldberg | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +6 min

As a few bleak anecdotes illustrate, it is often impossible, in real time, for outsiders to know what is happening in the ceaselessly reigniting war between Israel and the Palestinians. Politicians issued impassioned condemnations of what some called Israeli war crimes. In May of last year, the Palestinian-American journalist Shireen Abu Akleh was shot and killed while covering an Israeli raid on the Jenin refugee camp. Israeli officials said she was either shot by a Palestinian or by an Israeli soldier aiming at a Palestinian gunman. It is the myth of a massacre at the Jenin refugee camp in 2002.

Persons: Elon Musk, Biden, I’d, didn’t, Shireen Abu Akleh, Abu Akleh, Israel, Saeb Erekat, “ Organizations: Elon, Twitter, Gaza Health Ministry, New York Times, Haaretz, Islamic, Israeli Defense Forces, West Bank, Palestinian, CNN, Amnesty, Human Rights Watch, United Nations, Rights Watch, IDF, Guardian Locations: Israel, Al, Ahli, Gaza, That’s, Tunisia, Berlin, Jordan, Egypt, Palestinian, American, Jenin, Netanya, “ Jenin, America

☆ Thurston Moore’s Electrifying History Lesson
▼ + stars: | 2023-10-19 | by ( Mark Yarm | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +3 min

“He and the band championed Beck, Mudhoney, Dinosaur Jr. and Nirvana” early on, he said. (She memorably howls her way through “Death Valley ’69,” Sonic Youth’s combustive first single, from 1984.) In October 2011, Sonic Youth’s label made the surprise announcement that Moore and Gordon had separated after 27 years of marriage. In the book, Moore shares a bare-bones version of what transpired — he had fallen in love with Eva Prinz, a book editor. If I got too much into that, that would be a critical focus, as it is with any memoir.

Persons: Dave Markey, ”, Thurston, ” Markey, Azerrad, Moore’s, Beck, “, ” Beck, Moore, “ He’s, Lydia Lunch, Jesus, Gordon, —, Eva Prinz, It’s, ” Moore, Gordon’s Organizations: Sonic Locations: Los Angeles, South America

☆ George Santos former campaign treasurer to plead guilty in federal court
▼ + stars: | 2023-10-05 | by ( Kevin Breuninger | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +2 min

The former campaign treasurer to Rep. George Santos of New York will plead guilty Thursday in connection with a criminal case against the Republican congressman, according to a spokesman for prosecutors. That filing said prosecutors will file a so-called information against Marks; such charging documents are routinely used when a defendant has agreed to plead guilty. Santos was charged in May with a 13-count federal indictment in the same court accusing him of campaign finance fraud, money laundering and other crimes. A spokesman for U.S. Attorney's Office for the Eastern District of New York declined to say what Marks will plead guilty to. In August, Samuel Miele, a former Santos fundraiser, was charged in the same federal court with impersonating a top aide to former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy while seeking campaign donations.

Persons: George Santos, Nancy Marks, Marks, Santos, Samuel Miele, Kevin McCarthy Organizations: Republican, Court, U.S, Attorney's, Eastern, of Locations: George Santos of New York, Central Islip , New York, Long, of New York, Nassau County, Queens

☆ The full moon has different names for each month. Here's the meaning and origin for the whole lunar calendar.
▼ + stars: | 2023-09-26 | by ( Morgan Mcfall-Johnsen | Jenny Mcgrath | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +11 min

The next full moon will be a harvest moon, rising on September 29. AdvertisementAdvertisementSeptember: harvest moon, "corn moon," "barley moon"Amish people harvest corn in Maryland. A harvest moon sometimes occurs in October (the moon doesn't follow the Gregorian calendar), but it's always the full moon closest to the autumnal equinox. The next worm moon: March 25, 2024April: "pink moon," "sprouting grass moon," "egg moon," "fish moon"Wildflowers along the California coastline in Big Sur at sunset. AdvertisementAdvertisementThe next seasonal blue moon: August 19, 2024The next monthly blue moon: August 19, 2024

Persons: It's, —, Patrick Hartigan, Mark Wilson, it's, Shamil Zhumatov, Eddie Keog, what's, Jeff R Clow, Andy ClarkREUTERS, John Moore, Mike Segar, Charlie Baker, Brian Snyder, that's, Mike Blake, Toby Talbot, Mead, Toby Melville Deer, Matt Balazik, Steve Helber, Champlain, Paul Hanna Supermoons, Andrew Lichtenstein Organizations: Service, Rice University, Reuters, North, Getty, Beavers, REUTERS, Former, NASA, AP, Astronomical Union Locations: Maryland, Moscow, Russia, North America, Europe, New England, Superior, Colonial, Stokenchurch, England, Lake Louise , Alberta, Irvington , New York, Former Massachusetts, Hollis Hill, Fitchburg , Massachusetts, Algonquin, California, Big Sur, Calais , Vermont, Richmond Park, London, Britain, Alaska, James, Charles City , Virginia

☆ Op-ed: FTC's crackdown against Amazon is necessary for long-term innovation, startup investor argues
▼ + stars: | 2023-09-19 | by ( Bradley Tusk | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +5 min

The howls will begin the minute the FTC's lawsuit against Amazon hits the clerk's desk. What you don't see on that list is anything that could attempt to compete with Amazon or Meta or Apple or Microsoft or Google . Whenever we look at a startup that would directly compete with a company like Amazon, the answer to the second question is always, "yes, definitely." I think Amazon is a great company. Luckily, as these earlier giants started to falter, companies like Apple and Microsoft took off, and companies like Google, Amazon and Meta came along.

Persons: Lina Khan, Khan, I'm, we're, Bernie Sanders, it's, there's, Bradley Tusk Organizations: Yale Law, Amazon, FTC, Tusk Venture Partners, Apple, Microsoft, IBM, GE, Google, Meta, Department of Justice Locations: Larchmont , New York, Alma, Manhattan

☆ Olivia Rodrigo Has Seen the World Now, and She’s Livid
▼ + stars: | 2023-09-08 | by ( Jon Caramanica | More About Jon Caramanica | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

That’s the novel approach of Olivia Rodrigo, a modern and somewhat signature pop star. Her jolting debut album, “Sour,” released a few months later, showed her to be a spiky, vivid writer and singer, but one who hadn’t quite seen the world. Two years later, on her poignantly fraught, spiritually and sonically agitated follow-up album “Guts,” Rodrigo has seen too much. As on “Sour,” Rodrigo, who is 20 now, toggles between bratty rock gestures and piano-driven melancholy. Or as she puts it on “Making the Bed,” “I got the things I wanted/It’s just not what I imagined.”

Persons: Taylor, Olivia Rodrigo, ”, ” Rodrigo, “

☆ Four takeaways from the first 2024 Republican presidential debate
▼ + stars: | 2023-08-24 | by ( James Oliphant | ) www.reuters.com time to read: +7 min

Former U.S. Vice President Mike Pence and former biotech executive Vivek Ramaswamy debate each other across Florida Governor Ron DeSantis at the first Republican candidates' debate of the 2024 U.S. presidential campaign in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, U.S. August 23. REUTERS/Brian Snyder Acquire Licensing RightsWASHINGTON, Aug 23 (Reuters) - Eight contenders for the 2024 Republican presidential nomination jockeyed for voters’ attention on Wednesday at the party’s first debate, while the front-runner Donald Trump, the former president, bypassed the event. Here are four takeaways from the debate in Milwaukee, Wisconsin:NEW KID IN TOWNIn his first political debate, Vivek Ramaswamy, 38, was widely expected to be a wild card. “Can't we all agree that we're not going to put a woman in jail or give her the death penalty if she gets an abortion?” said Haley, the only woman on the debate stage. For the candidates on the debate stage, it was by talking about on how regular Americans are struggling with the cost of items such as groceries, fuel and cars.

Persons: Mike Pence, Vivek Ramaswamy, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, Brian Snyder, Donald Trump, Ramaswamy, howls, Ron DeSantis, ” DeSantis, Pence, Chris Christie, Marco Rubio, I've, ” Christie, Christie, Barack Obama, ”, Tucker Carlson, Bret Baier, Trump’s, Trump, Nikki Haley, Haley, we're, DeSantis, ” Pence, “ It’s, ” Haley, “ Don’t, Biden, it’s, Joe Biden’s, Hunter Biden, James Oliphant, Colleen Jenkins, Howard Goller Organizations: U.S, Florida Governor, Republican, REUTERS, Rights, Trump, Twitter, Fox News, Congress, Ukraine, Former South Carolina, Biden, Democratic, Reuters, Thomson Locations: Florida, Milwaukee , Wisconsin, U.S, New Jersey, Russia, America

☆ Laughter: An essential feature of human social interactions
▼ + stars: | 2023-08-11 | by ( Adrienne Wood | University Of Virginia | ) edition.cnn.com time to read: +8 min

Known as a “play signal,” mammalian laughter accompanies playful interactions to signal harmless intentions and keep the play going. And laughter is an essential feature of human social interactions. For humans, laughter has expanded from its original function as a play signal to serve a variety of social functions. I suspect people borrow and transform the play signal of laughter to influence situations that, on their face, have nothing to do with play. All laughter serves genuine social functions, helping you navigate complex social interactions.

Persons: overexplaining, It’s, Mayur, aren’t, Adrienne Wood Organizations: CNN, University of Virginia, National Science Foundation

☆ Elon Musk's Twitter X rebrand is actually quite popular among users
▼ + stars: | 2023-07-26 | by ( Alistair Barr | ) www.businessinsider.com time to read: +3 min

When Elon Musk unveiled the X rebranding of Twitter earlier this week, howls of complaint echoed across the social-media platform. CivicScience conducted an online survey after the X announcement and got more than 5,000 responses, including over 1,000 responses from Twitter users. Results from a recent CivicScience survey CivicScienceThere's even some positive news regarding Threads, Meta's recently launched Twitter rival. There are roughly 250 million daily average users of Twitter, and CivicScience's poll got results from a few thousand people. 40% of daily Twitter users and a 51% of weekly users are not currently interested in using X with its expected new features, "so the move is likely to be disruptive," CivicScience reported.

Persons: Elon Musk, CivicScience, Meta's, Musk Organizations: Twitter, CivicScience, Morning

☆ 10 Essential Songs by Sinead O’Connor
▼ + stars: | 2023-07-26 | by ( Jon Pareles | More About Jon Pareles | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

Sinead O’Connor did not hold back. From the moment her debut album, “The Lion and the Cobra,” appeared in 1987, O’Connor — whose death was announced on Wednesday — flaunted raw passion and raw nerve. Yet her songs also offered comfort, nurturing and righteousness; she was an idealist, not a provocateur. She produced her own debut album when she was only 20, drawing already on punk, dance music, electronics and seething orchestral arrangements. They were charged with youthful turbulence and unbridled ambition, as O’Connor sang about love, death, power and making her own place in the world.

Persons: Sinead O’Connor, ”, O’Connor —, O’Connor, O’Connor’s

☆ AMC Theater Chain to Stop Charging for Better Seats
▼ + stars: | 2023-07-20 | by ( Brooks Barnes | More About Brooks Barnes | ) www.nytimes.com time to read: +1 min

AMC is abandoning plans to charge more for movie seats depending on their location. But higher prices for center-middle seats at theaters where AMC has been testing the concept will remain in effect this weekend, when “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer” are expected to draw significant crowds. AMC Entertainment, the world’s largest theater chain, said on Thursday that it would “pivot away” from a contentious initiative called Sightline, in which seats at evening screenings had three tiers of pricing, ending the long-held cinema custom of charging the same amount for any seat in a theater. But the company plans to start a new trial involving front-row seats, which often go unsold. Later this year, AMC said it would pull out traditional front-row seats and replace them with “large, comfortable, lounge-style seating areas that will allow guests to lay all the way back.”

Persons: “ Barbie ”, “ Oppenheimer, ” Organizations: AMC, AMC Entertainment Locations: New York , Illinois, Kansas

LONDON, June 1 (Reuters) - Even if the U.S. dollar's singular dominance as global currency of choice is in fact ebbing, it may not automatically lead to a weaker dollar exchange rate - and could periodically mean the opposite. The big advantage of large dollar reserve holdings alongside wide commercial usage and trade in dollars overseas was clear. But the issue is typically read in markets as a reason to bet on a weakening dollar exchange rate - or even to pump alternatives such as gold or crypto tokens. Of course, that was a global economy riven with fixed dollar exchange rate pegs that supercharged the transmission of Fed policy, most of which have since been dismantled. That may be a world many countries prefer if they are sure of viable alternatives - but may not mean a weaker dollar.

Persons: chomping, Alan Greenspan's, Janet Yellen, Yellen, Mike Dolan, Kirsten Donovan Organizations: Federal, OASIS, Fed, Reuters Graphics Reuters, Reuters, Twitter, Thomson Locations: U.S, United States, Washington, China, Ukraine, Brazil, Russia, India, South Africa, Iran, Venezuela, outflows

☆ Uvalde school massacre: Mothers wanted to watch horrific footage of their children escaping. Here's why we showed them. And why they want others to see.
▼ + stars: | 2023-05-21 | by ( Shimon Prokupecz Matthew J. Friedman Rachel Clarke | Shimon Prokupecz | Matthew J. Friedman | ) edition.cnn.com time to read: +11 min

Uvalde, Texas CNN —Editor’s note: This story contains graphic images and descriptions of the Uvalde school massacre. We really do,” Kassandra Chavez told CNN. Miguel Cerrillo, father of Miah, came into the room and said he wanted to watch, too. Credit: Texas Department of Public Safety Texas Department of Public SafetyJamie Torres, who watched separately, told CNN she wanted to see the video of her daughter. “Thank you for doing that,” Chavez told CNN.

But because Moms for Liberty is working on such a local level, opponents have found plenty of opportunities to take action. “I just got back from forcibly re-closeting myself for 90 minutes to infiltrate a Moms for Liberty meeting. I want to go be a part of this.’”Darcy Schoening says her Colorado Springs chapter of Moms 4 Liberty has about 250 people in it. CNNThere were no confrontations at the Moms for Liberty meeting held in a Mexican restaurant in Colorado Springs. Schoening of Moms for Liberty explained why she viewed asking a child what pronouns they preferred was “indoctrinating” them into questioning their gender.

☆ Crypto-silence is precious for Gensler's SEC
▼ + stars: | 2023-05-05 | by ( ) www.reuters.com time to read: +2 min

But he has taken several enforcement actions against crypto firms alleging that they are selling unregistered securities, and the SEC is considering suing Coinbase. Think from Gensler's perspective, though, and there's little upside in breaking the silence. Accept that digital assets are not securities after all, and he would look foolish for not saying so sooner. Yet state definitively that they are securities, and Gensler would have to show his reasoning, opening the SEC up to more costly legal battles that it could lose. Complain as they may, Gensler's foes may just have to accept that sometimes, no answer is an answer.

Unlike much of the past 15 years, euro strength is on the ECB's side as it meets on Thursday. Indeed, ECB President Christine Lagarde and chief economist Philip Lane littered speeches with warning shots about an excessive euro strength when the euro last snarled up to this extent in October 2020. Lagarde's predecessors Mario Draghi and Jean-Claude Trichet similarly weighed in with verbal intervention to cool periodic 10% surges in the trade-weighted euro over its history. Euro strength has built on belated ECB interest rate hikes since July - up some 350 basis points to 3.0% so far and expected to go up at least another 25 bps this week. So should euro strength be finally embraced by ECB as way of slaying the inflation beast?

☆ No more red envelopes: Netflix to end DVD-by-mail business
▼ + stars: | 2023-04-18 | by ( Dawn Chmielewski | ) www.reuters.com time to read: +2 min

April 18 (Reuters) - Netflix Inc (NFLX.O) is winding down its DVD-by-mail business, the company said in a blog post on Tuesday, ending the service it started around 25 years ago. The company said its DVD rental business had been shrinking and it will not be able to continue to offer quality service. "Those iconic red envelopes changed the way people watched shows and movies at home - and they paved the way for the shift to streaming," Netflix Co-CEO Ted Sarandos said in a blog post announcing the DVD service had entered its "final season." "Betting on DVDs was a risk," Randolph wrote in his book, "That Will Never Work: The Birth of Netflix and the Amazing Life of an Idea." When Netflix attempted in 2011 to split its DVD rental business from online streaming into a separate service called Qwikster, it provoked howls of protest from consumers.

☆ 2024 Ferrari Purosangue: A Touring Wagon That Howls
▼ + stars: | 2023-03-10 | by ( Dan Neil | ) www.wsj.com time to read: +1 min

GOOD SPORT The Purosangue’s front-mid-mounted V12 typically sends torque only to the eight-speed, dual-clutch rear transaxle, ensuring a super-sporty, rear-drive character. The AWD comes by way of a power takeoff and two-speed gearbox that transfers torque to the front predictively when the dynamic controls sense slip at the rear. IN ITS WISDOM, Ferrari staged the global press launch for the new Purosangue AWD wagon in February, in the Dolomites, near Madonna di Campiglio in northern Italy. Unfortunately, the region’s mild winter meant that scenic, snow-covered mountain trails were in short supply. While I waited my turn, visions of tree-slapping the six-figure, 12-cylinder Purosangue raced through my mind.

Rep. George Santos, R-N.Y., leaves a meeting of the House Republican Conference at the Capitol Hill Club on Wednesday, January 25, 2023. Embattled Republican Rep. George Santos of New York will not serve on the two House committees to which he was recently assigned until the investigations into his conduct have concluded, his office said Tuesday. Santos' decision to recuse himself from the two panels marks one of the first tangible repercussions he has faced since admitting he fabricated key details about his biography. And the voters in Santos' district aren't keen on keeping him around, either, according to a new poll released Tuesday morning. The pollster surveyed 653 voters from Santos' district between Jan. 23 and last Thursday.

☆ ‘Dinner With the President’ Review: Bread-and-Butter Issues
▼ + stars: | 2023-01-25 | by ( Moira Hodgson | ) www.wsj.com time to read: +1 min

In 2019 Donald Trump held a much-publicized banquet for the Clemson Tigers football team in the State Dining Room of the White House. He posed before a large table piled high with Quarter Pounders, a portrait of Lincoln behind him. But Mr. Trump had made a shrewd political move. As Mr. Prud’homme writes: “The critics’ howls . Bush (who was such a WASP that he sometimes ate cereal for dinner) claimed to be a fan of pork rinds splashed with Tabasco sauce.

☆ GOP House targets China, abortion, IRS funding in McCarthy's first week as speaker
▼ + stars: | 2023-01-13 | by ( Christina Wilkie | ) www.cnbc.com time to read: +4 min

Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy, R-Calif., conducts a news conference in the U.S. Capitol's Statuary Hall on Thursday, January 12, 2023. WASHINGTON - The new Republican House majority used its first full week in office to quickly pass six pieces of legislation that showcased the party's political priorities. Following Republicans' historic intraparty battle for the speakership earlier this month, GOP House Speaker Kevin McCarthy's first week was an exercise in party unity. "Voters have elected George Santos," McCarthy told reporters Thursday in the Capitol. Rather than move to expel Santos, McCarthy appeared to put his faith in a House Ethics Committee investigation of the lawmaker.

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